This is Your Cap'N Speaking...

And he's saying what a crock of crap this is.

If you know me well enough, you know there are many things that irritate me. Some things irritate me more than others. One subject that is in my personal 'Top 10 List of Most Irritating Things' is idiotic (or just greedy) people filing stupid lawsuits.

If you haven't heard already, a woman actually filed a lawsuit against the manufacturer of Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries because the berries aren't made of real fruit. Apparently, after four years of eating them, she just recently figured this out.

Are you kidding me? What is wrong with people? Do you not have anything better to do with your life? Are you so starved for attention that you have to make up some half-witted claim against a company that you're hoping to take to the bank?

I know if I bought this particular cereal, my 3 year old could tell that the berries are not real fruit. And despite any claim otherwise, Cap'n Crunch isn't a real captain either. He doesn't sail the high seas searching for new lands to cultivate crunchberries. He's not real. What type of person cannot determine this on their own?

There is a side of this that makes sense to these people. Maybe they're onto something. I'm now thinking if I ever get really greedy myself, I can start filing lawsuits. I'd probably start with Dr. Pepper. Not one single speck of pepper in that can? That's false advertising. I'd then move on to Mt. Dew. There is not one drop of fresh morning dew in it. And I'd most definitely go after Bear Naked cereals. Not one bear was harmed in the making of this bag o' breakfast. Now I just need to come up with a dollar amount that will cover my pain and suffering caused by not being able to eat a real bear in my bowl of cereal.