I'll Drink To That

I'm a self-proclaimed Pepsi drunk. I truly believe that is the main reason my butt is as big as it is. I cannot stop drinking it. I've tried. Oh, how I've tried. It's not that Pepsi is all I drink. I drink a lot of water too, but this stuff is so addictive and oh so good.

While I was pregnant with Big Brother, I was the good mommy, trying to keep my baby healthy. I stopped drinking Pepsi and switched to caffeine free sodas. That worked pretty well. I was very conscious about the caffeine while pregnant, although I ate my weight in Dominos pizza and double cheeseburgers from McDonalds at the time.

While I was pregnant with Baby Jaws, I didn't even try to quit the caffeine. I most certainly wanted this baby to be healthy too, but I was addicted. That poor child was hopped up on Pepsi from the beginning. That may be why he always looked like he was dancing in his ultrasounds.

I pour myself a glass of Pepsi every morning. Don't judge me. You probably have coffee. Pepsi is just my caffeine of choice. My son will see it and ask what I'm drinking. I don't know how many times I've told him I shouldn't be drinking it at all. So now, when he sees me with a glass, he tells me, “You shouldn't drink that.” I feel bad and agree, but can't even put it down after being hassled by the Preschool Pepsi Police.

If only there were a little pill I could take to stop my Pepsi cravings, but maybe that's not the greatest of ideas. We all know how good I am at taking pills. I'll just have to keep trying to wean myself off of it. Baby Jaws is almost weaned. We could do it together. He can go through boob withdrawl while I wrestle with Pepsi withdrawl. Who will be the crankiest? We shall see as I raise a glass of Pepsi in a toast, “To no more Pepsi!”