I must say I'm very glad that your employees are not first responders. Otherwise we would all die. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just saying my mom could make a turkey dinner quicker than you made my Whopper today.
And here's a little hint: if you can hear customers' shoes making a sucking noise as they walk across your floor, it may be time to mop. You should really look into hiring June Cleaver. I hear she's great.
Sincerely,
Mom who visited your palace today with one screaming boy, one happy boy and a husband whom you irritated by putting mayo on his sandwich when he asked you not to.
P.S. I really enjoyed peeing on your throne today. It was awesomely clean!
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