Of Poop and Puke

Not a week day goes by that I don't have a run in with poop or puke. It's just part of the job. I don't know why I thought Halloween weekend would be any different.

Saturday night, after Trunk or Treat and trick-or-treating, we went back to church to eat. It was more like take one bite, put my plate down, chase Baby Jaws, bring him back to my chair, pick up my plate, take one bite, put my plate down, chase Baby Jaws. It seemed to never end, that is until Big Brother announced he had to poop. Not only did he have to poop, he had to poop NOW!

Our church is still under construction which means no bathrooms. As I got up to take Big Brother home to poop, my husband said, "Too late. He just pooped his pants," and we could tell by the look on his face that he had. I took Big Brother to the van debating on how I was going to get him home with poop in his pants. So, since we were out in a little field where the future parking lot will be, I pulled his pants down and dumped out his underwear in the grass. Disgusting? You bet, but it had to be done.

As I was helping him get his pants back on after wiping his bottom with some baby wipes, he decided he has to poop again...NOW! I tried my best to get him to squat (this child has never been camping like I have back in the day) so it was a big mess by the time he was finished. I went back into church and told my husband after what I just went through, he was going to be the one to take Big Brother home and change his poopy clothes. In the end, everything came out alright. I did have to warn some people about the turd way out yonder, telling them to watch their step.

Now to the puke. Yesterday, we had a lot of running to do after church so we stopped for lunch. Big Brother had real chicken strips. I say 'real' because he likes McDonald's and Wendy's type chicken nuggets and not a whole strip of real chicken. Here's another little tidbit about Big Brother: when he eats things he doesn't want to eat, he purposely makes himself gag. As we were waiting on our check, I asked Big Brother to eat a couple of more bites. He picked up a piece of chicken, started chewing it up and then began gagging because he didn't want to eat it. Well, he gagged enough that it made him start puking. It wasn't with as much force as the portrait night puke, but it kept on coming. I tried to once again catch it, as much as I could in a napkin, but finally just stuck his head up on his plate to get it over with. And of course, everything came out alright again.

Ah, the joys of boys. The funny disgusting stories never end. Just remember, happiness comes from the inside. That's why you always feel better when you puke or poop or both.