Back Off

Hey there Mr. Man, driving the girlie car behind me. I don't know what you have up your butt to make you want to drive up mine, but you caught me on a good day. I'm in no hurry for once. I'm even driving a bit under the speed limit and that doesn't often happen.

I haven't had any thoughts of road rage at all today. I have yet to make my secret wish I make every time I drive somewhere: I wish I could drive a tank, a really fast tank that could drive over every idiot that gets in my way, cuts me off, drives too slow, can't use a turn signal or rides the brakes.

This is a beautiful sunny day. Remember, I'm in no hurry. But it's not my fault that you were too girlie to pass me in the last five passing zones. If you're not man enough to go around me, then please feel free to ride my butt even more closely. I will make it worth your while.

Since I'm the type of person that always tries to please people, I will slow down for you a little more. Even though I'm almost home, I still have time to jack with you. I will make you and your little girlie car come to a crawl. I see the 25 mph speed limit sign up there. I'd better slow down to around 10-15, just to be safe. You didn't like that either, did you? Poor baby. Wait, here's the road to my house.I need to turn slowly. Don't want to roll it. I'm almost to a complete stop. Wait, I'm turning. There you go Mr. Man. I'm finally out of your way. You enjoy your day. I just enjoyed mine a little more by irritating you. Buh-bye now!