Never Again

I hate Black Friday! But I must confess. I am no longer a Black Friday virgin.

My wonderful husband had a bright idea; an idea I should not have gone along with. He thought we could get up Friday morning, run to Walmart and be back in time to be in the woods before sunrise. I turned completely stupid when I said, "Ok. Why not?"

Why not? Here are my why nots:

I am not a morning person.

I am not a patient person.

I hate shopping at the same time as other idiots. Black Friday=swarms of idiots.

I swear my blood pressure went up as soon as we pulled into the parking lot.

As we walked into the front doors at 5:10 a.m., I'm pretty sure I had steam coming out of my ears when we saw people packed from the checkout lanes to the back of the store in one gigantic line that no one would even think about letting us excuse our way through.

Walking through the store made my IQ drop a few points.

Not even seeing the toy I wanted for Big Brother was annoying. Not even seeing it in any one's cart was even more annoying. I'm sure the Walmart I went to was the only one on earth that didn't receive that toy shipment.

Almost getting attacked by Walmart employees because I walked underneath one of their ropes while trying to leave was enough to make me go ballistic.

Telling the Walmart employees that I just wanted the crap out of there was priceless.

So anyway, we were there maybe 10 minutes and it was enough to make me NEVER do it again.

Never!

Five Quote Friday

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow."
~Edward Sandford Martin

"Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day."
~Robert Caspar Lintner

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?"
~William A. Ward

"It is delightfully easy to thank God for the grace we ourselves have received, but it requires great grace to thank God always for the grace given to others."
~James Smith

I Am Thankful

I am thankful for the big things in my life...my family, my friends, my church, my home, my country.
And I am thankful for the little things too...
thankful my husband can always make me laugh, even when I don't want to.
thankful every time Big Brother jumps up on my lap, throws his arms around me and says, "I just love you!"
thankful when Baby Jaws comes to me with his blanket and bear just to sit and snuggle awhile.
thankful every time I hear my girls laugh so loudly at absolutely nothing.
thankful that no matter how bad a week I am having, going to church completely changes my attitude and makes me feel blessed.
thankful my active boys, who may puke for a couple of days, are in good health.
thankful my boys are able to laugh and love all over each other just seconds after a big fight.
thankful for dates with my husband that don't seem to come along that often.
thankful for early mornings being awakened by two little giggling boys jumping on our bed.
thankful for slobbery kisses from Baby Jaws.
thankful for fistfuls of dandelions picked by Big Brother.
For all of this and so much more, I am so thankful.

Black Friday

As much as I love deals, I am not a Black Friday fan. I've never woken up early to be at a store by 5 a.m. I don't think you could even pay me to do it. I am not a morning person and people irritate me anyway. People pushing and fighting over stuff at 5 a.m. would really irritate me. And so help me, if I ever saw a kid wearing shoes with wheels on Black Friday, I think my head would explode.

My husband has been out on Black Friday the past couple of years. The first year, he went to Bass Pro (big surprise) to buy himself something. Last year, he went to Walmart to buy Big Brother a cheap Leapster, which he still loves playing with.

This year, we're going hunting around 5 a.m. I can't wait! There are a couple of things I would like to pick up for Big Brother and Baby Jaws on Friday. After sitting out in the woods awhile, if I can get to the store before 11 a.m. when the sales are over and if I can even find the things I'm looking for, I will be happy. If not, I don't really care. It's just stuff. Stuff that my boys would be happy with, but then again, they're still enjoying the dishwasher box.

One of My Top 10 Pet Peeves

I cannot stand walking through a store (as I did this evening) and all of a sudden, a kid wearing those stupid wheelie shoes whizzes by me. It takes every ounce of strength in my body for me not to stick my foot out and trip them or turn my cart into their path really fast so that they bounce off of it. Oh, the day is coming when some little dweeb on wheels is going to push me over the edge. Mark my word, the day is coming.

Early Christmas

I finally got my new dishwasher yesterday and the boys got a gift for themselves: a giant dishwasher box. The sad thing is, the box will probably sit in our living room for a week like a piece of furniture. The good news is, they will play in it for hours on end and I may just be able to accomplish something for once, like dishes. I'm thinking I got the raw end of the deal here.

Back Off

Hey there Mr. Man, driving the girlie car behind me. I don't know what you have up your butt to make you want to drive up mine, but you caught me on a good day. I'm in no hurry for once. I'm even driving a bit under the speed limit and that doesn't often happen.

I haven't had any thoughts of road rage at all today. I have yet to make my secret wish I make every time I drive somewhere: I wish I could drive a tank, a really fast tank that could drive over every idiot that gets in my way, cuts me off, drives too slow, can't use a turn signal or rides the brakes.

This is a beautiful sunny day. Remember, I'm in no hurry. But it's not my fault that you were too girlie to pass me in the last five passing zones. If you're not man enough to go around me, then please feel free to ride my butt even more closely. I will make it worth your while.

Since I'm the type of person that always tries to please people, I will slow down for you a little more. Even though I'm almost home, I still have time to jack with you. I will make you and your little girlie car come to a crawl. I see the 25 mph speed limit sign up there. I'd better slow down to around 10-15, just to be safe. You didn't like that either, did you? Poor baby. Wait, here's the road to my house.I need to turn slowly. Don't want to roll it. I'm almost to a complete stop. Wait, I'm turning. There you go Mr. Man. I'm finally out of your way. You enjoy your day. I just enjoyed mine a little more by irritating you. Buh-bye now!

My Poor Commercialized Child

Yesterday, I found a pair of Big Brother's baby dress shoes that I had saved just in case I had another baby. So I pulled them out to see if they would fit Baby Jaws and had them sitting on our desk. Big Brother came over, saw them and asked who they belonged to. I told him they were his when he was a baby. He picked them up and examined them, then noticed the brand.
I completely lost it when he said in amazement, "These say McDonalds! Did I get them in my Happy Meal?"

I Can't Do It

Baby Jaws is going to grow up to be a hippie because I don't think I'll ever be able to cut these curls. He just wouldn't be the same without them.

Yummy Turkeys

Thanksgiving may not be until next week, but my turkey pancakes were all gobbled up. This was Big Brother's, complete with apple feathers. I also made some with banana feathers. The mini M&M eyes were by far Baby Jaw's favorite part of the meal. We will be having these again before Thanksgiving and it will definitely be our Thanksgiving breakfast treat.

Will It Ever End

We had two more cases of the "bad bacon wonder worm" over the weekend, only this time it was the adults turn. My husband and I were both extremely sick on Saturday. So sick that I'm surprised our house is still standing after pitting two sick parents against four healthy kids.

Note to self: don't get sick when your top two babysitters are unavailable. Gran also had a case of the "bad bacon wonder worm" and Mamaw was out of town. So we were screwed and stuck with our very healthy, very loud, can't-leave-each-other-alone-for-two-seconds children.

I don't ever remember us both being sick at the same time and I pray it never happens again. It was complete mayhem between trying to rest, running to the bathroom for the 42nd time, breaking up the 349th fight of the day and trying to keep down a sip of water that would eventually come back up anyway.

I always make fun of my husband for being so pitiful when he's sick. But I admit, I was pretty pitiful myself Saturday. I have not been that sick in a long time. I was actually mad at him for being sick on the same day as me. It seemed perfectly logical to me at the time. He had no right to get a sick day when I was trying to take one. We both walked around like zombies all day, hoping the kids weren't beating each other to a pulp while we were sleeping.

It wasn't pretty, but we survived. Well, almost survived. Of course I would be the one left to suffer since I'm the one who takes care of everyone else. Ugh!

Five Quote Friday

"A boy is a magical creature. You can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart."
-Allan Beck

"One of the best things in the world to be is a boy; it requires no experience, but needs some practice to be a good one."
-Charles Dudley Warner
"Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!'"
-George F. Will
"There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure."
-Mark Twain

"When I grow up I want to be a little boy."
-Joseph Heller

18 Wheels

This is my boys' favorite song on YouTube. And by boys, I mean all three boys, including my husband. It's by Heywood Banks and we've been listening to it after hearing it on the Bob and Tom Show forever ago. Now the little guys are even fans of the song.

God Bless All Our Veterans

Again

I just cleaned up puke again! This isn't funny anymore. I'm going on a week and a half of puke. I'm now a certified puke expert.

UP

Here's my great deal I got at Walmart today. I bought the UP 4-disc combo pack, which includes the movie on Blu-ray disc, a Blu-ray bonus disc, the movie on DVD and a digital copy of the movie. This 4-disc pack is on sale at Target for $26.99 and at Best Buy for $23.99. Too much for my coupon loving self. It is only $19.96 at Walmart, but here's the great part. If you go here, you can print a coupon for $10 off. So I got the movie for only $10. You know I'm addicted to coupons when I even use them on movies.

I also bought two gallons of milk, two pounds of bananas and two gallons of tea. Yes, two gallons because my husband won't drink sweet tea. I have to have sweet tea because I'm also addicted to sugar. Besides, I always tell my husband I'm sweet, so I deserve sweet things. He always corrects me and tells me, "Yeah, you're sweet. Bittersweet." Whatever!

I only paid $22 for all of it. Pretty good deal considering the movie costs more at Target than everything I bought. It gets even better. I can get $5 back here when I also buy two Birds Eye Voila meals which I can get really cheap with coupons (big surprise). We like these for a quick dinner when we're pressed for time. So in the end after the rebate, I'm going to get the 4-disc combo pack for only $5. I'm happy with my deal and can't wait to watch UP with my boys!

I Need Sleep...Puke-Free Sleep

I'm seriously considering changing the name of my blog to The Puke of Our Lives. It is now almost 1 a.m. and I have just cleaned up another pile o' puke. Baby Jaws is still sleeping peacefully. Big Brother now has a case of the "bad bacon wonder worm" as my husband calls it. He has puked twice in the last hour. He is now tucked back in and is either sleeping peacefully or his little gut is preparing to yet again hit me with his best shot.

I'm to the point now where it doesn't matter if I sleep or not, there will be puke. Even if I do fall back asleep, I know I'll dream about it. Puke is all around me. It has been stalking me for the past 6 hours. I just can't shake it.

It is now five minutes later...and there it was. Round 3. My life would be so much easier if I had a can of Puke-Away.

Seriously...More Puke

I wish I was kidding. Just a couple of hours ago, I was thinking of blogging about how I haven't had to deal with any puke in a few days. Again, I wish I was kidding. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, Baby Jaws puked on the carpet in his bedroom. After hosing him off in the tub and putting clean pj's on him, he puked on the living room floor (so thankful for hardwood floors). My husband carried him into the bathroom where he puked all over the floor, the sink and the toilet. After another bath and another pair of clean pj's, he sat on my lap for an hour, puking into a towel about every 20 minutes. He is finally sleeping with towels lining the floor around his crib. We are not cleaning any more puke out of carpet (so thankful for the wet/dry shop vac too).

It never ceases to amaze me how my little puking machines always derail my plans. I accomplished nothing on my to-do list tonight except for rocking my baby, which is probably the only thing I really needed to accomplish in the first place.

Five Quote Friday

"A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop."
-Robert Hughes

"Common sense and good nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult."
-W. Somerset Maugham

"You can never tell what type of impact you may make on another's life by your actions or lack of action. Sometimes just a smile on the street to a passing stranger can make a difference we could never imagine."
-Ed Foreman

"I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."
-Abraham Lincoln

"It's important that people know what you stand for. It's equally important that they know what you won't stand for."
-Mary H. Waldrip

WrestleMania

Pukefest 2009 Continues

Just how much can one child puke in a week?

After picking Big Brother up from preschool today, we went to meet my husband for lunch where he did an awful thing. He filled Big Brother's cup up with fruit punch. It doesn't matter how many times Big Brother drinks fruit punch or how much he drinks, 90% of the time, he pukes. It's just too sugary for the little guy.

So after we ate, we went up to my husband's shop to see the car he was working on. As we were leaving the shop, Big Brother needed to be in the bathroom...NOW! Baby Jaws and I were waiting in the truck thinking they'd be right out after a little #2. Next thing I knew, my husband came out to tell me Big Brother had puked all over himself and the bathroom in his shop. I went back into the shop to clean him and the bathroom up. My husband is a lucky man. He's lucky I can stomach puke better than he can.

Like I've said before, not a day goes by I don't come face to face with poop or puke. I must say I'm very thankful that Big Brother's teacher makes him keep an extra change of clothes in his backpack. It came in quite handy today. I'm also thankful Big Brother puked in the shop and not in my new ride. It was my lucky day!

Veggie Tales DVD

If you go here and sign up for The Big Idea newsletter, you can get a free Veggie Tales DVD. You will have to pay a shipping charge of $2.99. But it's a great deal if you have Veggie Tale lovers like I do. There are three titles to choose from. Big Brother will be getting The Ballad of Little Joe in his Christmas stocking. Thank you My Litter. It doesn't matter where I find them, I love deals!

Passion

My boys are passionate over little things, but sometimes I wonder if they go a little overboard.

Take this morning for example. As Big Brother was eating breakfast, he screamed and burst into tears. I ran to see what had happened as he cried, "My jack-o'-lantern fell over!" Sure enough, Mr. Pumpkin Guts (sitting atop our table because the boys liked looking at their little orange buddies) had become mush and fell over onto the side of his face. He was also leaking. Big Brother was extremely upset, to say the least. I had to explain to him that pumpkins rot and don't last forever, but he cried and cried over the little mushy thing.

Baby Jaws was also very passionate this morning. He and I went to CrapMart to pick up a couple of things. We grabbed some Cheetos to eat with our sandwiches at lunch. Cheetos are Baby Jaw's favorite. I showed him the bag sitting on the shelf as he squealed with excitement. He took the bag from my hand and hugged them. It was more than a hug though. It was one big, long snuggle. He held onto that bag of Cheetos tightly, with his little head on them (the same way he snuggles his teddy bear when he's ready to go to sleep at night) snuggling up, giving those Cheetos his love all the way to the checkout lane.

So my boys are very passionate about the things they love. I think that's a good thing. At least I'll keep telling myself that for the time being. Although looking back, maybe they are just passionate about things that are orange. Either way, I love my little sensitive guys.

Of Poop and Puke

Not a week day goes by that I don't have a run in with poop or puke. It's just part of the job. I don't know why I thought Halloween weekend would be any different.

Saturday night, after Trunk or Treat and trick-or-treating, we went back to church to eat. It was more like take one bite, put my plate down, chase Baby Jaws, bring him back to my chair, pick up my plate, take one bite, put my plate down, chase Baby Jaws. It seemed to never end, that is until Big Brother announced he had to poop. Not only did he have to poop, he had to poop NOW!

Our church is still under construction which means no bathrooms. As I got up to take Big Brother home to poop, my husband said, "Too late. He just pooped his pants," and we could tell by the look on his face that he had. I took Big Brother to the van debating on how I was going to get him home with poop in his pants. So, since we were out in a little field where the future parking lot will be, I pulled his pants down and dumped out his underwear in the grass. Disgusting? You bet, but it had to be done.

As I was helping him get his pants back on after wiping his bottom with some baby wipes, he decided he has to poop again...NOW! I tried my best to get him to squat (this child has never been camping like I have back in the day) so it was a big mess by the time he was finished. I went back into church and told my husband after what I just went through, he was going to be the one to take Big Brother home and change his poopy clothes. In the end, everything came out alright. I did have to warn some people about the turd way out yonder, telling them to watch their step.

Now to the puke. Yesterday, we had a lot of running to do after church so we stopped for lunch. Big Brother had real chicken strips. I say 'real' because he likes McDonald's and Wendy's type chicken nuggets and not a whole strip of real chicken. Here's another little tidbit about Big Brother: when he eats things he doesn't want to eat, he purposely makes himself gag. As we were waiting on our check, I asked Big Brother to eat a couple of more bites. He picked up a piece of chicken, started chewing it up and then began gagging because he didn't want to eat it. Well, he gagged enough that it made him start puking. It wasn't with as much force as the portrait night puke, but it kept on coming. I tried to once again catch it, as much as I could in a napkin, but finally just stuck his head up on his plate to get it over with. And of course, everything came out alright again.

Ah, the joys of boys. The funny disgusting stories never end. Just remember, happiness comes from the inside. That's why you always feel better when you puke or poop or both.