What I've Learned from Soaps

1. You never have to take care of your children. They are always sleeping.
2. If you do by chance have to see your children, they are very well behaved and very clean.
3. You never have to pee or poop.
   
4. You never have to cook. Fine dining everyday!
   
5. You never have to work, yet have loads of money to go shopping with.
6. There is always a doctor who can perform any surgery on the face of the earth. Sometimes even a kidney transplant and liposuction back to back.
   
7. Your house is always perfect.
   
8. Your husband (if you're married) is always sexy and can carry you up a flight of stairs to the bedroom where he's placed sweet smelling rose petals all over the bed.